Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
