I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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