I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
