I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
