Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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