I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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