Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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