i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
