Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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