Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
