i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
