i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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