What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
