I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
