Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
