mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
everyone is single if you try hard enough
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
