Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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