Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I touched a dick in church today
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
