wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
