I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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