If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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