Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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