Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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