Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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