I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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