It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
