i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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