careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
