This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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