He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
