Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I will be naked everywhere
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
