Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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