I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
