i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
