you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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