Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
