woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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