every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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