you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
