He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
