how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
