im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
