She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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