good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
