so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
