White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
