Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
