Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
