Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
