I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
