my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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